Acts of Desperation
by PlatinumMagic
Summary: Gojyo hasn't had his daily nicotine fix and Sanzo keeps taunting him. Insidious plots ensue. Shounenai. Gojyo X Sanzo. Oneshot?


Well, this is my first Saiyuki fic and I hope you find it as amusing to read as I did to write. Me and my editor spent 4 hours on this last night when I got stuck and I do believewe got it work. Well, enjoy and remember, Reviews are food for writers!

Disclaimer: I very obviously don't own these guys, but, god, if I did . . .

**Acts of Desperation**

"Hmph . . . I know that stupid monk keeps it around here somewhere." Gojyo muttered absently, quietly searching through the discarded robes at the foot of Sanzo's bed. Unfortunately for the highly frustrated kappa, there didn't seem to be a place to keep a lighter.

Cursing the peacefully sleeping blond he knelt by, Gojyo sought to examine the monks' robes more closely in the darkened room. By all logic, there had to be a pocket or something. There just _had_ to be. He would get a cigarette if it killed him. At least then he could die happy.

All day that bastard sanzo had taunted him, enjoying his shitty smokes in front of the nicotine-crazed water sprite. Gojyo had run out last night and by the time they had reached town almost everything was closed, they had been lucky the inn was still open. Try as he might, Gojyo couldn't find a shop that was both open and also sold cigarettes.

Needless to say, two days without a smoke was too much for Gojyo's sanity. That night he had easily succumbed to sharing a room with the sadistic Sanzo and, no sooner had aforementioned monk fallen asleep, than the brilliant kappa had stolen his crappy smokes and began the hunt for a lighter. (1)

With Sanzo's pack of cigarettes safely tucked in his back pocket, Gojyo was sure his luck was finally turning around. All he had to do was find that one precious little lighter and everything would be worth it.

_Click._

Suddenly all of Gojyo's muscles seemed to freeze, leaving him feeling like a deer in headlights. With infinite slowness, he let the robes slip from his hands and turned to look down the barrel of a banishing gun. A pair of malicious violet eyes glared into him from behind the offending weapon.

"Eh...hi." Gojyo smiled innocently.

"Looking for something?"

"Uh...no. Ah, I mean - yes. I dropped my . . . some change. Yeah. Scattered everywhere. I'm just . . . picking it up." Gojyo lied warily, eyeing the gun.

"Is that so?" Sanzo replied casually, removing the weapon and shifting on the bed to sit back against the wall. He crossed his denim clad legs at the ankle and closed his eyes briefly. Slowly he unfolded his arms from across his bare torso. "And here I thought you might be looking for this . . ." he murmured, holding up the lighter. (2)

Gojyo gapped for a moment in utter amazement. "How did you - " he started to say when it hit him. That bastard was just toying with him.

"Why you - " Words could not describe the crazed anger that flared in the crimson haired man. (3) Any rationality he had abandon him in the time it took for him to spring at the sitting Sanzo.

He reached the blond man, catching his shoulder and knocking them both to the bed. They fought, Gojyo on top wildly trying to catch the lighter that Sanzo kept just out of his reach.

"You sadistic ass, give it to me!"

"Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you, perverted freak!" Sanzo sneered, waving the lighter tauntingly and pushing down on the kappa's shoulder as he tried to gain leverage.

"God damn monk!" Gojyo growled, practically crawling up Sanzo. His fingers just grazed the cool plastic before the monk pushed on him again.

This just wasn't working, Gojyo decided, it was definitely time for a new approach. As soon as the pressure on his shoulder lessened, he gathered his muscles beneath him and lunged the distance between him and the lighter.

Or tried to.

Sanzo realized what was happening and moved to dodge at the last second. The next thing they knew, the two of them were lying full out on the bed, face to face and holding hands around the prized lighter.

Gojyo looked down at the blond man in snide victory but there was something in Sanzo's eyes that stopped any remarks. Gojyo realize the untouchable Sanzo was both a little nervous and embarrassed, although you could barely tell if you didn't know him. The body beneath him was tense and motionless, as cold as ice.

It scared Gojyo a little. This wasn't what he'd meant to happen, actually it was the complete opposite. Instead of gaining the lighter and a long awaited fix, he now found himself in a very suggestive position made rather uncomfortable by this perpetual ice maiden of a monk. Gojyo was at a loss. If he gave up now he'd never get a smoke but how could he continue without bringing the "Wrath of Sanzo" upon himself?

Beneath him, Sanzo was giving him all the cold shoulder he could manage in their present situation. He turned his head away and stared fixedly at the opposite wall, obviously waiting for the kappa to remove himself.

Gojyo felt a smile tug mischievously at his lips as a plan started to formulate in his addiction-fixated mind. He'd just have to make him let it go somehow. And what better way than to use his every advantage. But he'd need all his expertise to woo this captive.

He tilted his head forward slowly, crimson hair curtaining either side of his face, and before the monk could realize what was happening, aimed directly for Sanzo's exposed neck. The monk gasped as his assailant bit into the curve of his neck slightly, trying to squirm away as the kappa slowly moved his way up to a very sensitive earlobe.

Strong hands pushed at Gojyo's chest, but he ignored them and continued, leaving a trail of seductive kisses down the blond man's jaw.

"God damn you, Gojyo." Sanzo half gasped before a pair of insistent lips caught his in a kiss.

The crimson haired man ran his tongue along the monk's bottom lip asking entry and, as expected, Sanzo refused. But the flirtatious kappa had already found a way around this problem. He traced his hand across the sanzo's pale skin from his hip up to his bare chest and teasingly rolled the other man's nipple between his fingers. The blond man gasped and his attacker wasted no time in capturing his mouth for a second onslaught. The hands on Gojyo's chest stopped their bruising push little by little and instead grasp fistfuls of his white shirt. _Maybe this wasn't all that bad_ _of an idea_, he thought as he entwined a hand into the monks' silken hair. Sanzo's hands began to roam, seemingly of their own accord, down the kappa's sides and squeezed his butt.

Little did Sanzo realize that Gojyo's free hand was above them, searching fervently in the tangled bed sheets for the forgotten lighter. As soon as his fingers caught on the small item of plastic and metal, he broke the kiss and sat up, straddling the startled monks hips.

"HA! I got it, you bastard monk!" Gojyo cheered triumphantly, showing off the lighter.

"You could have just asked." Sanzo glared up at him, trying to sound cold and only pulling off breathless.

"Yeah, and I'm sure you would have given it to me." The crimson haired man growled sarcastically, moving to sit on the edge of the bed with his back to the monk.

"Well it would have been easier than putting us both through that stunt you just pulled." Argued the irritated monk as he sat up and ran a hand through his tangled hair. "Horny bastard."

"Heh, you liked it and you know it." Gojyo replied casually, reaching for the pack of Sanzo's cigarettes in his back pocket. "Now for my after - Hey! Where the hell are my _smokes_?" He yelled, turning on Sanzo.

"I think you mean _my_ smokes." Sanzo smiled cynically at him while holding the pack of cigarettes. "And if I remember correctly, you said they tasted like shit."

Gojyo was now throughly annoyed. "I see what's going on here." He said sweetly, turning to face the monk and giving him the most devilish smile. "You just want me to kiss you again. Had fun the first time around and now your begging for more? Isn't tha-"

The arrogant kappas words were cut off as a hand caught his shirt and pulled him forward into a passionate kiss. He found his hands on Sanzo's shoulders and working into his hair instinctively, while the blond man's cool fingers travel under Gojyo's shirt and made him shiver in pleasure as they brushed his nipple.

As Sanzo broke the kiss he whispered heatedly, glaring at the surprised water sprite. "Don't kid yourself, your not that good."

Gojyo stared and slowly stood up, moving in the darkness to his own bed without a word. As he climbed under his sheets there was a soft thud on the blankets and he looked down to see the pack of cigarettes. He sat up and pulled out the lighter and added a small spark to the darkness of the room.

As he took his first drag a snide voice from the other side of the room spoke. "Are you happy now?"

The crimson haired man savored it for a moment, thinking. "No. Your smokes still taste like shit."

A/N: Well, there you have it. As of right now it's a one shot, but if I get some amazing idea or a good suggestion from a reviewer I might make it another chapter or so.So,please review! For the sake of pride and sanity if nothing else!

(1) Somehow it always seems that one of them is lacking a lighter. I figured I'd just make it poor Gojyo's turn.  
(2) Sanzo magic, of course!  
(3) Well, they could but come on, I'm going for a PG-13 rating here.


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